Tuesday, January 31, 2006

The Perfect Migraine

Headaches and migraines have long been my unwanted allies on the road of life.

About a year and a half ago I began tracking those suckers to find out what was "triggering" them. I found out that I have about 5 or 6 triggers that were daily causing them. The triggers were MSG, caffeine, sugar, excessive sodium contents in food, weather and barometric changes, and aspirin itself.

In the past year, my headaches have gotten a ton better. So I've laid down my guard a bit with my avoidance of the above mentioned triggers. Well, Saturday was date night with my beloved wife. So we went out to eat at a quaint little chinese restaurant we discovered.

As you know Chinese food is notorious for having MSG, a flavor enhancer. It's also notorious for having excessive sodium content. We had our fill and then proceeded to a coffee shop for dessert where I downed a large cookies and cream smoothie (which wasn't even very good). The temperature was also dropping that night and I felt a slight headache coming on as I retired for the evening. I had nearly every necessary ingredient for a perfectly sculpted Tim Baron migraine.

Around 3:45 a.m., I awoke to a screaming, angry migraine that had woefully lodged itself behing my right eye and proceeded to emmanate waves of aggravating discomfort down the back of my neck.

My unwanted ally was back! I cursed my slothfulness.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Drinking Deeply From the Chalice of Humility

I got my first traffic violation ticket this morning.

I was less than a mile from my work....and there's this dumb turnaround that gets backed up in the morning. I venture to say that I rarely come to a COMPLETE stop. In fact I venture to say not many folk do. Because there's a pulse-pounding race against time with the oncoming traffic you gotta book it when you have the chance.

Well, I booked it, and Dan-o booked me. All of a sudden a police car appeared out of nowhere (they must have had their invisibility cloaking device on)I saw a barrage of flashing lights dancing in my rear-view. Surely that's not for me!!! I've never had a ticket before!

It was for me.

"Do you know what you're being stopped for?" he asked. (This is the point where people lie to the officer in the TV shows) "Ummm....was it because I didn't come to a complete stop at that stop sign?"


As the officer took my license and registration and walked back to the car, the humility and anticipation sunk in. "Maybe he'll give me a break...after all...I've never had a ticket before," I thought to myself.

He didn't give me a break. $206.50 by January 20.

Pretty much like 95% of the people I work with were driving by at this point. So when I got to work this morning, I couldn't look at anyone without wondering if they saw me in my sad estate just moments prior. Oh well, I take full responsibility. All things happen for good for those who love God and are called according to His purposes right?

Sometimes our Lord finds ways to give us gentle warnings to slow down in life. I shall take this as such: )

Thursday, January 05, 2006

My First Memory of Being Completely Grossed Out

It was 1981. The auditorium was dimly lit as my first grade class shuffled to our seats. The room was filled with strange children from other schools and I thought to myself, "What are we in here for?"I had already seen enough the hours prior that day at our field trip to the McMillen Health Center. But this was the icing on the cake.

The room darkened. A courteous hostess told us briefly about what we were going to see. She left the stage. The curtains were drawn, and there she stood...female, naked, with "the inside of her body showing." A sterile, haunting female voice began to speak. It was T.A.M., the Transparent Anatomical Mannequin. T.A.M. proceeded to tell us about her vital organs and their functions. As she spoke, her different body parts literally lit up. Some male snickering broke out behind me as T.A.M's "mammary glands" were illuminated.

I distinctly remember that I wasn't sitting with any of my close friends, so I couldn't even take refuge in ornery snickering.

We returned back to our gradeschool just in time for lunch. Guess who wasn't in the mood for eating? I remember sitting there at the lunch table staring blankly at my friend's Star Wars lunchbox. All I could manage to get down for lunch that day was some Planter's potato stix and some little hard candies my mom had packed me. My classmates seemed to be socializing normally that day at lunch...how could they???? After all we'd seen...brain synapses... "Nerve Man"...a gigantic brushable mouth....and "T.A.M"???

In later years, our class would return to the McMillen Health Center. I would have trouble eating for a couple days thereafter, but would eventually learn to eat without thinking of the gross "inside of your body" images I'd seen.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Super Friends Vs. Invasion of the Brain Creatures

The kids and I watched another episodes from the Super Friends Volume 2 collection last night. This time it was the episode "Invasion of the Brain Creatures."

A group of one eyed (geen eyed) Brain creatures invade Earth and take control of the Super Friends. Once again Superman fell prey to the telekinetic powers of another world minion. This time, the brain creatures (who communicate telepathically-they are brains after all) seize control of Superman and force him to stand above Earth and hurl large chunks of meteors into our planet's atmosphere.

Thanks fully noone was hurt! The other Super Friends also fall frey to the brain creatures mental powers, but are thankfully released when Wonder Woman breaks the creature's mind control and flies her invisible jet (which at this time is traveling through outer space) into a magnetic cloud (perfect timing!) thus breaking the mind control the creatures have on the other heroes.

In the end, all ends well. My kids really like the Wonder Twins...especially Gleak the super monkey. Gleak makes my daughters smile: )

Monday, January 02, 2006

Almost Done!

Monday afternoon, it's raining out and I've got a headache. On the bright side, I'm almost done with this piece of Christ and the woman at the well. I had a couple hours to work on this today, so I cranked up some punk rock, (FM Static, Roper and Fifteen), and let the right side of my brain take over for about an hour and a half.

Hoping to have this sucker done this week.